


A to Z, or 26 Love Letters to Tachibana Makoto

by tothemoon



Category: Free!
Genre: Drabble Collection, First Love, Fluff and Smut, Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Chronological, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothemoon/pseuds/tothemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Haruka adores Makoto in an alphabetical list of memories and musings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A to Z, or 26 Love Letters to Tachibana Makoto

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that new A to Z show that's coming out on NBC, I decided to give this a shot. 
> 
> I've been working on this for about a week now on and off, and I haven't read a lot of the fic here on this site...so if I accidentally wrote something too close to something someone's already done, I apologize! (I get that A-Z is a bit of a common theme)

_**Australia.  
**_ Sitting on the beach in a country he's never been to before, Haruka doesn't even take his shoes off, much less swim. He hasn't had much time to think of him, but he does now, because he's near the _ocean_ , and he remembers. They fought, Haruka ran, and now he's Australia. He wonders how Makoto is doing, because for once, he doesn't know. Haruka is much too far away.

"That was the first argument we ever had," he tells Rin, still huddled up in the sand.

 

 ** _Back._  
** Sometimes, when the two of them are in bed together and Makoto is asleep, Haruka will sneak a small touch of his shoulder blades. He's touched his body in all sorts of places beforehand, eager because they've only just started sleeping together, but Haruka admits that it's his back that always gets him. It’s always so nice to the touch, firm because of his obvious muscles but with skin so soft to the touch.

Of course, Haruka will never say this out loud because it's much too embarrassing. Instead, he settles for another light stroke of his skin before Makoto flips onto his side and catches Haruka in the act. Makoto just laughs, throws the covers off, and lets Haruka steal kisses off of him.

 

 ** _Cats._  
** Haruka has a theory that all of the cats in Iwatobi know Makoto by name, and have formed a cult collecting every thistle the other boy has ever used to play with them. These are the thoughts that run through his head as he watches Makoto from the top of the stairs. It's raining heavily today, and Makoto is getting soaked from holding his blazer over a small black cat, but he's still wearing a smile and whispering reassurances. Simply, Haruka quietly walks down to Makoto and shares the space under his umbrella.

 

 ** _Decisions._  
** “I _have_ decided.” Makoto loosens his grip on Haruka’s wrist until there’s nothing left. “I’m going to a university in Tokyo.”

The fireworks go off in that instant, a cruel, sick joke from whatever cosmic entity rules the universe. Haruka hears Makoto speak, but he can only hear every other word. He feels his body shut down, a simultaneous dizziness in his head and a heaviness in his chest. Makoto is leaving him. Haruka has decided that this is the worst thing that could possibly happen.  

 

 _ **Explosion.**_  
Haruka buries his face in his pillow as Makoto, behind him, gets him off with his hand. This is the first time they’ve ever done anything beyond kissing, and Haruka wonders why they didn’t start sooner. His hands are big and strong and firm, which results in predictably excellent handjobs. Haruka’s body pulsates, close to completion, but Makoto teases him and backs off in the last second. He says he’ll keep going until Haruka _explodes_ , so he’ll have to wait it out a little longer.

Although he’s embarrassed about the noises he can’t control, and just how dirty Makoto can _really_ get, Haruka decides to give up all control. Makoto’s hands creep down Haruka’s thighs again, teasingly delicate.

 

 ** _Family._  
** They’re sitting together at the Tachibana table, eating dinner with the twins. Makoto’s parents have gone out for the night, so naturally Makoto has to watch the house. Haruka watches quietly as Makoto splits up the rations of ham to both the twins, leaving none for himself. He looks content enough with pleasing the twins, because he’s _always_ been about his family, but Haruka knows how much Makoto likes to eat meat.

While Makoto’s not watching, Haruka sneaks him his last piece of mackerel.

 

 ** _Good._  
** Some people would say that the word _good_ is boring. But when Haruka looks at Makoto from the stands, watching him teach kids how to swim, and the gentle way he holds their little hands, Haruka can't help but hear the word ringing in his head.

It's okay if that word is a little boring. There's not enough people like Makoto in the world anyway.

 

 ** _Haru._  
** It's always _Haru_ with him. Well, Haruka knows other people call him that too, but there's a lightness in the way Makoto says his name that no one else can compare to. Haruka lifts his head from Makoto's groin just for a brief moment, just to hear his sighs, before dipping back down between the other boy's thighs. Haruka's never been stingy with his mouth and considers himself a natural at pleasing Makoto at this point.

" _Haru..._ " Makoto pleads. That's just what Haruka wants to hear.

 

 ** _Irises._  
** Today Makoto is the one who's going to make them late for school.

Makoto crouches down in front of the memorial in his backyard and switches out the flowers, replacing withered daisies with fresh, violet irises. Haruka watches Makoto polish the bottle and brush the dirt off of the little grave marker, doing all of this with utmost care. Makoto then claps his hands together for a small prayer, bowing his head in respect.

"Hello," Makoto says in a small voice, like he's seven again. Then Haruka remembers that it's the anniversary of _that day_ and says a prayer, too. It's okay if they're late.

 

 ** _Jealousy._  
** It's not that he hates Kisumi Shigino. He's a pleasant enough guy and he's friendly to everyone he knows, but Haruka would prefer if he didn't hang around him and Makoto. It's already nine at night, prime time for cuddling with Makoto, and Kisumi hasn't left yet. As he goes on about how well his school's basketball team is going, Haruka sneaks an annoyed glance at Makoto that he picks up right away. Makoto smiles, nods in a slight way that tells Haruka _soon, don't worry_ , before going back to listening to their middle school friend. Haruka doesn't care if Makoto's just being polite. He can't help but get a little jealous.

 

 ** _Kissing._  
** Makoto kisses Haruka in two different ways. In public, he's really gentle about it, with his lips brushing against Haruka's forehead like he's kissing porcelain. Those moments come at the most random of times, like when they're sharing a quiet moment by the side of the pool. Sometimes he'll sneak one in when they're walking home.

The other type kiss comes when they're in bed and they can't keep their hands off each other. Makoto presses into Haruka's mouth with incredible urgency, framing Haruka's face with both of his hands. His breath is hot and sometimes he moans like every kiss is just a form of begging. Haruka's never sure which type he likes more.

 

 ** _Lingering._  
** Haruka is sitting in Makoto's bedroom as the latter puts the twins to sleep in the other room.

Haruka's packed his own t-shirt to sleep in this time, and he's about to dig it out of his backpack to put on when he notices one of Makoto's old shirts on his bed. He sneaks a smell of it, because he always enjoys the smell of his best friend's soap after he showers. Fresh cotton and a hint of green apple.

When Makoto comes back into the room, he finds that Haruka's climbed into his shirt.

"I forgot to bring a shirt." Haruka says simply, kicking the one he brought under Makoto's bed.

 

 ** _Makoto._  
** The first time Haruka knows he loves him, it's the coldest day of the year and Haruka's sixteenth winter. Haruka is wearing a thin jacket and he's shivering, something that usually happens because he underestimates how cold it actually is. He tries walking it off, taking small steps down the platform when he thinks Makoto isn't looking. Haruka doesn't make it far before he feels a scarf ravel around his neck.

"You should really bundle up." Makoto says with a sigh. Haruka turns around and Makoto tightens the scarf for him, and they stay close together for a moment without either of them saying anything. The winter has a habit of making silence sound even quieter than it actually is, but it's okay because it's not like Haruka knows what to say anyway. All that resonates is this strange urge to say Makoto's name.

Haruka stares at Makoto, but he just laughs a little bit and lets his hands slip off the fringes off of his scarf.

"Makoto." Haruka says. _Makoto, Makoto, Makoto_ : it's a name he's called thousands of times, but he knows he's said it differently this time.

"Yes?" He asks. A small frown forms on Makoto's face, because he knows something's not quite right.

Haruka knows the words are there, _'I love you,'_ but they can't come out now. It's too sudden, and it's not like he's any good with words.

"Nothing." Haruka says as the train comes barreling into the stop.

 

 ** _Naked._  
** Being topless around Makoto is not a big deal. They're swimmers, so that's practically a given. But being naked is a completely different thing, a whole different animal, so when Makoto tugs at the waistband of Haruka's pants, he knows that this is a big deal. It's strange though, because it's not that Haruka is uncomfortable about it. It's just new, and new and always takes a bit of getting used to. So Haruka proposes a deal: they should both get naked at the same time, so no one has to feel awkward about things.

So Makoto complies. They both take their trousers off on the count of three and Haruka finds that he actually likes the feeling of bare skin on the sheets. It's natural and unrestrained, like the feeling of being in water.

However, Haruka can't help but smile a little bit because Makoto looks like he's going to die from embarrassment. Haruka likes this view of him all the same.

 

 ** _Ocean._  
** Haruka almost loses Makoto to the ocean. The waves between them are relentless, and it's heavy dragging him onto the beach, but Haruka will bring him as far from it as possible. Haruka loves swimming more than anyone, but there's something about seawater that he'll always be cautious about. He almost thinks of condemning it right then and there until Makoto regains consciousness and begins coughing into the sand.

 

 ** _Phone._  
** Haruka is not usually one to check his phone that often. He's the type that lets voicemails and text messages pile up by the dozens, and he's usually very unapologetic about it. There's no exception for this, even when Makoto moves to Tokyo. He's in no business of missing him even more than he already does.

One night, when his bed is especially lonely, he caves and plays all of them at once. All of Makoto's fifteen voicemails start with the simple call of Haruka's name, soft and slightly disappointed because Haruka isn't picking up. Haruka plays the last message, not feeling any better than when he started.

_'Haru, I know you don't check these that often, and that you're just going to let these pile on, but if you skip all the other messages, just know I miss you a lot.'_

"I miss you too." Haruka says to an empty room.

This is why he hates phones. They just remind him of distance.

 

 ** _Quiet.  
_** The end of the day always starts the same. Class ends and swim practice is finished, and the sun is making its usual journey below the horizon. The four of them eventually split into the usual pairs, Nagisa and Rei, Makoto and Haruka, and they all wave and say their goodbyes.

“Let’s go.” Makoto says softly, a voice matching the haziness of the pink dusk. He’s probably more tired than usual today, since regionals are coming up and he’s working on perfecting that backstroke of his. He doesn’t have much to say today, but that’s all right. Sometimes they can go a whole walk home together without words and Haruka will be comfortable either way, because they’re still together.

Side by side by the setting sun. Sometimes their hands brush up against each other and they won’t say anything about it. Today Haruka surprises Makoto by linking their fingers, one by one, until they’re holding hands. Makoto just looks over at Haruka with a small smile and grips a little harder.

 

 ** _Remember._  
** It’s November 17th. Haruka gets up, brushes his teeth, soaks in the tub, and makes mackerel for breakfast alone in his house with no one telling him he’s going to be late. Makoto’s at home today, sick from a fever, so he isn’t here to fetch Haruka for school. Slipping on his shoes, Haruka pays his respects to his grandmother’s photo on the table before grabbing the small present next to her picture frame. He makes his way down the usual steps and stops at the Tachibana residence.

“Haru,” Makoto says with a sneeze. “What are you doing here? You’re going to be late for school.” Even when he’s sick, he always reminds Haruka about his impending tardiness. Too bad Haruka has no intentions of going to school today.

“Happy birthday.” Haruka says simply as he hands Makoto his birthday present. It’s a rare picture of the two of them celebrating another one of Makoto’s birthdays together, probably when they were five or six. It had been one of their firsts in their long line of friendship.

“I remember this.” Makoto says with a smile as Haruka forces him back into bed. He’s holding the picture above his head as Haruka tucks him in, safe and secure. Haruka sneaks a peek at Makoto when he thinks he’s not looking.

He looks way too happy for someone who’s sick, but Haruka thinks its cute anyway.

 

 ** _Sore._  
** _Ow, ow, ow._

Haruka loves Makoto, but the one thing he hates about being with him is feeling so sore in the morning. He rolls over in the bed that's too small to fit the both of them, ungluing his sticky skin from Makoto’s and untangling their legs. Haruka sits up, fixes the crick in his neck, and gets up to find his clothes on the floor. Every step he makes is just a little bit painful and he wonders how he’s going to even make it to the pool later, but Haruka sighs and takes it as as part of whatever he was with Makoto now.

He stares back at Makoto, who’s still fast asleep in bed. The blanket’s been thrown off him from Haruka’s maneuvering out of the bed. Still sore as sore can get, he walks over to him, leans over the bed, and covers Makoto up so he doesn't get cold.

 _Ow, ow, ow._ Haruka hates being sore, but he guesses the pain's worth it.

 

 ** _Talking._  
** "You're in my way." Haruka says, his voice slightly raised, from the bottom of the stairs.

Makoto only gets up, coming down to meet Haruka. He faces him in the same way he does when they were under the fireworks and suddenly Haruka feels like running away again. Makoto's posture is firm and there's a slight frown on his face and the sight is almost too much to bear. Not again. Haruka doesn't want this.

Haruka takes one step away from him before Makoto's hand brushes up against his. Makoto doesn't try to hold it or grab it. It is only a small plead, and Haruka recoils his hand from the gesture. He takes one foot off the step and faces Makoto again. He feels the words form on his tongue. He wants to tell Makoto to go, to leave him already, it's over, but there's only one thing Haruka really wants to say.

_Please don't go to Tokyo._

"Haru." He says. It's always Haru. "We should talk about this before I leave."

Haruka doesn't want to talk about anything. He doesn't want to hear anything about Tokyo. He doesn't want to know why Makoto's going, or where he's going to be living, or how often he'll be visting Iwatobi. He doesn't want to know his new class scedhule, or if he'll have a roommate, or if he's going to living close to the university. He doesn't want to know about train rides or new addresses or changed phone numbers. None of those things matter to Haruka. It just means his best friend is leaving.

There is no way Haruka will sit around and listen to that. And yet, he can't force himself to leave. He's too stubborn to admit it, but he already misses Makoto enough as it is.

So, before Makoto can say another word about Tokyo, Haruka leans in to kiss him. He takes his trembling hand and holds Makoto's. There are no words between them about this at first, in fact Makoto even tilts his head a bit to kiss him back. 

"Haru." Makoto says this with a heavy sigh. 

Haruka looks up at Makoto, his face burning with embarrassment and longing.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." he says, more pleading than anything. He pulls Makoto closer and goes in for another kiss.

 

 _ **Underwater.  
**_ They saw it in a movie once. The two of them have stayed behind after everyone else in the swim club has left for the day, and Haruka can tell Makoto's not too excited about this. Haruka holds onto Makoto as they're treading in the pool, their bodies close.

"We can do this." Haruka says bluntly. "The water will let us."

Makoto sighs. "It's always water with you, isn't it? Can't we just stick to regular kissing?"

Haruka shakes his head. Makoto laughs a bit, knowing how useless it is to convince Haruka otherwise. On the count of three, the two of them submerge themselves under the water, try kissing like they saw in that French film they didn't quite understand _even with subtitles_ , before Makoto starts choking on pool water. They swim back up, where Makoto hangs onto the wall to catch his breath.

"I'm not doing that again!" He proclaims.

At least they tried. Haruka just swims up next to Makoto and kisses him on the cheek, telling him it's okay.

 

 _ **Virginity.  
**_ Haruka has never really thought of virginity as a special thing. People have it, then they lose it, and then that part of them fades away without much else thought.

He changes his mind about the whole concept when he's in bed together with Makoto, having sex for the first time. Through the discomfort, their first-time clumsiness, and the whispered apologies, Haruka understands what it means _to lose it to someone special_.

"M-Makoto." Haruka breathes out as he moves in between his thighs. The two of them haven't stopped holding hands since they started.

Maybe he's lost his virginity, but he'll never forget that Makoto's the one who took it.

 

 ** _Wish._  
** On the first New Years Day without Makoto, Haruka goes to the local shrine in Iwatobi and makes his donation, picks up his fortune, and says a small prayer. He usually wishes to never be without water, or for a limitless supply of mackerel, but this year he only wishes for one thing.

"Haru." The voice is soft and sweet. Haruka opens his eyes from his prayer, separates his hands, and turns around to see Makoto standing at the top of the stairs. Haruka thinks it's time to come to the shrine more often.

 

 ** _XXX._  
** Makoto is good with whispering sweet, unexpected nothings, and in the right circumstances, that leads to Haruka absolutely jumping his bones. It's not like the freestyle swimmer is any good at keeping his clothes on anyway, but these are the times Makoto doesn't really try to stop him from stripping down into nearly nothing. Haruka thinks of the places where they've had sex, fucked, made love, _whatever the jargon is_ , and lists them off to Makoto as they lay together in his bed at night.

"The school pool."

"Twice? Pretty sure it's twice."

"Hotel?"  Haruka asks next.

"Now, are we counting how many times in general, or _per night_?" Makoto asks. "There's a difference."

"We'll just leave that at _a lot_ , then." Haruka says. "But I think it's about eight."

"Sounds right." Makoto nods.

"Your room?"

Makoto hums while he's thinking. "Well, that's a tricky one because we never want the twins to hear. I'd say six."

" _This_ room."

"Oh, that's too much to count." Makoto laughs. He rolls over to kiss Haruka on the cheek. "But maybe we should add one more time to that number." He whispers.

Those are the sweet nothings Haruka is talking about. In a matter of a couple seconds, they're wrapped up in each other again. They decide to resume count later.

 

 _ **You.  
**_ "I love _you_ , Haru." Makoto says. "There's no one else." His voice cracks as he says _you_ , and it's in that instant Haruka knows that it's always been like that. Haruka looks down at the bundled love letters in his hands, all the ones Makoto has rejected these past three years in high school, and lets them fall onto the floor. They've spent so much time together in the most intimate of ways, but this is the first time anyone's said anything about love. _No_ , Haruka can't even focus on that particular word. It's the way Makoto says _you_ that affirms things. _There's no one else._

"Well, you too." Haruka mumbles.

"What?"

"I love you too, Makoto." Haruka says more clearly, but he swears he's about to die from embarrassment. " _Only_ you."

 

 ** _Zenith._  
** Haruka feels every small moment he has with Makoto like it's a zenith. He often feels lightheaded with him, a good kind of dizziness like he's ascended to the stars and left without air. With every kiss and touch, he's breathless, with every call of his name, _Haru_ , he goes momentarily deaf to everything else. That's what he knows with Makoto. A zenith, a high point, like a day without clouds.

Then Haruka thinks about his first fight with Makoto and wonders if they'll have another high point again. Maybe they've descended until nothing remains.

As he says his goodbyes to Rin at the airport, he thinks about how he's going to even speak to Makoto now. He practices saying sorry in his head, over and over with different tones and voices, before realizing none of them sound right. Would Makoto even want to see him? Does any of this even matter anymore?

When Haruka rounds the corner, he finds Makoto sitting on the usual steps. There's silence, the beginning of a low point, but then Makoto's face lightens up, back to its usual easiness.

"Haru." He says, with a small and warm smile that shows no sign of contention. "Welcome home."

Haruka drops his bag and hugs Makoto first.

"I'm home." Haruka says, under the setting sun.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place from the first year of high school to their (head canon) long distance Tokyo relationship. I was at a loss for what to do for X, so I just took the easy way out and wrote about sex because why not! 
> 
> I actually don't have a lot to say about this particular work because it was just an extra thing I worked on during my eight hour bus trip between my hometown and my university. I'm considering doing a matchmaker!AU in the next week or so, but that really depends on how bitter I am about how Free! ends in general.


End file.
